They are victims but they become executioners. Children who live in homes where their mother is abused on a daily basis can eventually go from being mere bystanders to becoming cruel abusers.
This sad reality is sometimes tried to camouflage, but in some cases it reappears in the form of terrible parricides. What has happened so that a son abuses his parents, especially his mother?
It is clear that children are the main victims of gender-based violence. At their young age, they observe with fear how the main person who attends and cares for them is abused on a daily basis psychologically and also physically. They hear reproaches, insults, humiliating and devastating words. They observe blows, slaps, kicks ... they observe and learn, with eyes full of terror ... Something that is nesting like a seed inside them.
Children who observe this cowardly violence, of annihilation of one parent towards the other, can do several things:
- Seclude yourself in your 'world', in an attempt to flee from reality. His self-esteem is disintegrating. His scale of values is upset. They become elusive and self-conscious adolescents, insecure and with fears and communication problems.
- Rebel against what they have seen. In the case of children with a strong scale of values, they can consider over time that that, precisely what they saw, is what they never want to see again. They are rebellious children and fighters. However, there may be a trace of resentment and obvious problems controlling your emotions.
- Repeat the learned pattern. This sadly happens in many cases of gender violence. The children repeat what they learned as children and take on the role of abuser: they use violence against their mother as their father did in his day. Nor do they hesitate to use violence against their first girlfriend ... Some of the adolescents who mistreat their mother, who may even kill her, were previously victims of the terror of gender violence ...
Although it also occurs in cases of children who did not have an education based on values ... children who had no one to set limits or norms for them. Children who lived in an eternal contradiction of the rules.
Yes, child-to-parent violence can also be gender violence. When the son focuses on the mother, there is gender violence. It usually begins with an insult. A hurtful and defiant insult. But it's only the beginning. The insults turn into threats and the threats ... into physical violence. First they are objects: doors, broken glass ... and finally, his own mother.
It is sad but it is a reality: children can also exercise gender violence. And yes, they are victims ... but sadly they become executioners.
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