Who said motherhood was easy? No way! Being a mother is a continuous learning process for all the parties involved (children and adults) and a process in which mistakes are made, but luckily many successes also occur. Of course, motherhood is a master's degree where experience takes on a very important value. Today I want to tell you those mistakes I made with my first daughter and did not repeat with the second, although with the little one I had others, but that is another matter.
As a mother of two daughters (they are four years old) I have always tried to raise them both in the same way, but as time went by I had to accept that this was something impossible. I was not the same person when I had the eldest as when the little one was born; On the other hand, the circumstances that we had at home were totally different and, furthermore, from the beginning they began to leave samples of their particularities.
1. Make yours the phrase: "I never"
How many nights did I spend awake, walking from one side of the house to the other and even taking walks at midnight (my eldest daughter was born in August in the heat of the heat wave) through the parks of my neighborhood to try to make the girl fall asleep. And all because I refused to put her in bed with me so she wouldn't get used to it. What ignorance of mine! With the second, I realized that this strategy was disastrous for me, because in the end neither of us slept and the next day I was a dog with bad fleas, so from the first moment the little girl slept next to me, I practiced co-sleeping!
2. Judging other parents
When you become a mom, you believe that everything about you is the best and even that you have the absolute truth. I have to admit that motherhood overcame me in the first few months. I who am a woman of routines, hours, rules and limits, I tried to make my baby have them from the first moment, but what did he want? I soon realized that this was impossible and I began to stop seeing other parents as "irresponsible" for not putting their child to bed at 9:00 p.m. and I understood that each baby is a world, that what works with one I may not do it with someone else, that each teacher has his booklet and that, as my friends from the postpartum group to whom I owe half my life say, this motherhood is daily survival.
3. Stop comparing
I remember the list of doubts and questions that I presented myself with in my beloved pediatrician's office. 'My baby is six months old and no teeth have come in yet, is that normal?', 'Why hasn't he said any words yet?' or 'Is it normal that at 14 months I am not alone?' And it is that for me it was inevitable to compare my princess with the rest of the children that I had around me to make sure that their development was optimal. Thank goodness that with the second these concerns went to the background!
4. Buy all premiere
His first bodysuit, his first slippers, his first stroller ... With the birth of the oldest child, parents go a little crazy: we want the little one to wear everything, without realizing, for example, that there will be clothes that only put once or twice or it stays on the closet hanger with its label. Luckily, with the second I became more practical, and although I did buy it new things, I reused many of its sister and I have invested this "budget" in other more different and cool ones.
5. Go to the hospital at the first sign
The first time my chubby had 38 fever, I didn't think about it! I ran to the hospital. I was so scared that I didn't even think about giving her something to lower her temperature or doing something as simple as removing the eight layers she was wearing. I know I was not wrong, but after spending more than 3 hours there, I thought that maybe it had been a bit alarmist. Cautious mother, it's worth two! Although yes, with the second, I meditate before and evaluate the situation. It is not a plan to collapse the emergencies!
6. Googleaer unconsciously
When you have a baby that is just a few days old at home, your life is a sea of doubts! Why doesn't he eat, why doesn't he sleep, why doesn't he poop ... there are so many whys! The easiest thing is to turn to the internet, where we can find a site with very truthful and verified information, but we also run the risk of finding a website full of hoaxes and false news. A word of advice: Google is not a doctor, Google does not know your baby, Google has not studied any degree. If you have any questions, go to your pediatrician!
7. Pay attention to everything
The inexperience of not having had a baby with you before is joined by the woman's state after childbirth, which makes her a woman full of fears, insecurities and with a sensitivity that reaches unsuspected heights. And so it happens, that if that visit that has gone to see you in the hospital (by the way, she has been a mother but never breastfed), she tells you not to eat the gazpacho because later you are going to transmit it to the baby through your milk maternal, you sacrifice that delicious delicacy not to harm your little one and, let's say, out of ignorance. Luckily with the second, one is already cured of fright and those comments your mind does not process.
If you are in the process of deciding to have a second baby, I encourage you! You have already learned a lot from your first child and, who knows, perhaps you are one of those super heroines, as I call them, who are encouraged to get a third or a fourth.
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